I recently went for a drink with a award winning director that I have known for some time. He is truely very talented and I have a great respect for him. Secretly, I admit, every time that we meet I am hoping that he's gonna say 'Ive got a film coming up and Id like you to play the lead.' Why not? Hes a great director, Im a great actor, it makes sense! This time I thought, this is it! I've grown as an actor, I've just finished my first led role, hes definately gonna ask me this time. Half an hour into the conversation I thought 'hmmmm nothings been mentioned yet, maybe I should give him a nudge in the right direction.'  About to slip it in to the conversation I come out of my own thoughts and begin listening again to what he's saying. "The only people that I meet at these festivals are fucking actors! Always fucking actors.".........fucking actors? Oh shit! Am I a fucking actor.

Since that meeting I have been thinking about what he meant by fucking actors.Was I one of them? I'm an actor but am I a fucking actor? Like a piece of chewing gum on a directors shoe. I then thought back to when produced my last film 'Once Bitten' and it began to come clear.....

When I went from being an actor to becoming a producer, I really wished I'd researched exactly what I was taking on. Its a tough and endlessly frustrating task organising the actors, crew and location availability to suit everyone. The point of the producer is to be in control of the whole production, but how can you be in control when you have to rely on so many people? Anyway the thing that frustrated me the most was a) actors not responding to emails b) actors not actually reading the emails properly c) actors not knowing their lines d) actors not turning up on time e) actors, acting like divas and not working. Fucking actors, I used to think. I think thats the problem with some actors. They are not aware that acting and being involved in a film is work, you really have to work hard and treat it as a proper job because aside from your performance, there are so many other people slaving over the project day and night. Of course after being the other side of the business I can see why so many people do think of us as fucking actors and I think that its really unfortunate because we're not all like that.  

Last night at the Raindance Live Ammo event, I met a fucking actor. She waltzed round the place like a peacock liked she expected someone to run up to her and say 'please be in my film, your amazing!' I then over heard her saying to a usher "I can only stay for an hour, I have a french lesson that I have to go to that I have to go to but then I might come back for the networking. Do you mind if I only stay for a while?" She was speaking to a voluntary usher, they did not give a shit what she did. To my fustration she then came and sat next to me and began to tell the filmmaker, who didnt really care, next to her that "she was an actor, had just come from an audition but would like to find out more about making films so obviously she could put herself as the lead which would benefit her because acting is really what she wanted to do." bla, bla, bla! I dont know why this girl grated me so much. Possibley because I saw a more desperate verson of myself in her and it made me cringe. Anyway....

The point of this blog is a message to actors. Work hard, treat acting as a real art rather than 'a bit of exposure', be reliable, respectful and believe in the projects that you work on. Be an actor, not a fucking actor.