The words of my last blog were taken directly from Eric Morecambe, someone who has inspired me throughout my life. But today I found inspiration somewhere else; in the face of a fat Polish kid in the Ealing branch of Primark. This fat Polish kid was doing everything he could to climb up a downward moving escalator. He doesn’t know it yet but he is an artist.

It’s this kind of grit and determination that fat British kids just don’t have these days. Everyone else was going up the upward moving escalator like lemmings. They allowed technology to take them towards the glow of the Primark pyjamas upstairs while this brave little chubster went against the machine; he pioneered a new way of getting to the 1st floor and pissed off his mum in one inspirational swoop. Protagonist.

What’s more is he knew the drama of it all. He revelled in the performance as he scaled the downward moving escalator in beautiful slow motion (cynics would say he was so slow because of childhood obesity but I don’t buy that). At first I thought this was an impromptu performance but I listened to the words of Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ single playing in the background and realised this portly Polish boy had planned ahead. He was sent to inspire me.

As the sweat rolled down his fat little face the lyrics rang out and connected directly with my soul:

Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain’t like you to hold back, or hide from the light.

I’m so sorry fat Polish kid! You’re right, of course you’re right! I’ve been procrastinating and worrying about trivial things like responsibilities, bills and my future. I need to express myself like you! Why am I holding back from the light? As he carried on up the escalator toward me the song continued:

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it

I hoped you see my face and that you’d be reminded –

YES FAT POLISH KID YES! It isn’t over! I can be like you. I can be an artist and inspire people - I’m finally gonna finish writing this movie!

Thank you for this wake up call, thank you for – oh hang on… he’s slipped. He’s being dragged back down the escalator like a conformist. He lies at the bottom covered in sweat and ice cream (presumably from a previous expedition.) His tired and limp body lays face down at the foot of the escalator and his mum goes to lift him by his belt but in one last act of defiance his bulk prevents her from doing so and she requires the help of the security guard to lift him toward the crap shoe section.

Fat Polish kid has been defeated. But his work here is done: I have been inspired.